Friday, October 06, 2006

Living In Between

How do you live in a place that is not your home and yet is? I am finding it difficult to do this. I am finding it difficult to be organized and disciplined in everything that I need to do. There are so many more distractions here in the US! I have forgotten how much time I wasted doing "stuff" and yet not getting anything done.

Yesterday I struggled just with being sad about not being in Poland and feeling guilty for wanting to be there instead of here. I love being here at home with family and friends and yet this is not where my life is. Sometimes I wonder if God is placing me here in Denver right now just to remind me that this world is NOT my home. I have to stop being comfortable and rearrange my priorities to the fact that I am just visiting earth.

I am no longer really living here and yet I am not in Poland now. I hope I don't sound like I am babbling. :) I am in the midst of this struggle. I was hit with it full force last night. It was not one specific thing, but I think the combination of many things over the past week since have been home.

The only way for me to return to Poland is to raise the remaining monthly ministry funds and as I am here right now, it seems like it will take forever. . . How many times have I used the word "I" in this post? Is this life just about me and what I can do for God? NO!

This life is NOT about me. It is about God and His Glory on this earth and in my life. I guess He is reshaping my heart and mind. He is the reason why I sing and breath and live!

1 comment:

Connie said...

Hi Alice, I just wanted you to know that I'm praying for you today. Thought I'd get on your blog and see how you're doing now that you're back in the States. While I know your heart is in Poland, I know the Lord has sweet things for you during this time in Denver...and I know your heart is there too! I look forward to hearing about those good things in the days and weeks to come, and to seeing how the Lord cares for your needs as we know He will in His best way! Lots of love to you today, Connie