Sunday, April 09, 2006

Why Does it Bother me NOW?

The other week when the snow was thick and the air was cold, no, beyond cold, I was driving home from the store and saw a man stumbling on the sidewalk. His clothes were dirty and his pants where half in his boots and half out. He stumbled up to a restaurant and started banging on the door. I assume to asked to be let in. The problem was that the restaurant was closed for renovation and the man was too drunk to realize it. It really bothered me to see this poor man drunk. My heart broke for him and I thought, "Wow God, thank you for showing me this part of Poland. Just another reason for you to bring me here." Then I thought about all of the homeless and drunk people in Denver and how I just blew them off and told them (in my mind) "Get a job!".

Shame filled my being and I wonder if God used this man to show me my lack of mercy for my own people. I have tons of mercy for the Poles, but what of my own? Am I here just to reach a foreign field because it is the "better" thing to do? I really do not think so. I am humbled by all of the youth workers in America who fight everyday for the attention of our country's youth. Here, well it is different. I still am not sure what I am fighting beyond adjustment and language (or lack thereof). But the enemy is much more obvious here!

Even though I am feeling this shame, the fact that God died for each person, Polish, American, Iraqi, Indonesian. . . where ever they are from, they have the same need: a personal relationship with the King and Creator of this Universe. That is why I am here. To share that love that God has for His creation.

I have seen many more drunks now that it is warming up and you can walk outside without getting frostbite. I wonder how I will look at the drunks and homeless when I am visit Denver next time.

I am not sure why I am blogging this, but this is what is going through my mind today. How many times do you look at the guy on the corner and say in your mind, "Get a job!"? And how many times do you say a short prayer for his/her salvation? I know that I am trying to start this new little "habit" in my life. This summer I may be praying A LOT!! :)


Hodges said...

It's great to hear you are doing well! Stacy and I will be praying that your eyes and ears are opened even more through your time in Poland, we will also pray that your memory will kick in. We love you and are so excited to see what God does through you and the people around you.

Mo said...

I'm glad you're writing about what you're seeing, thinking and feeling, my friend. Thanks for sharing this one.

(and stay warm!)

Jen said...

Alice, I do the same thing. It frustrates me every time I go overseas. Why do I have so much compassion for people in other countries and none for the people of my own?
Thanks for your honesty. And for reminding me that, as believers, we are called to have love and mercy and compassion for everyone, including ... the homeless who choose to be so and those who don't, whether in the U.S. or Poland.
Talk to you soon, hopefully. Enjoy your first Easter in Poland!