The Time for Stress is Here! AHHHHHHHH!

This last Sunday was my first Sunday presenting my passion for Poland and how God has lead me to moving and serving in that wonderful country. I am blown away by the number of people who are supportive of what I am doing and how they are praying for me and are encouraging me in this new chapter of life.

Last week was not an easy one. I had to do a “mock” presentation to my missionary guidance group and I did not think it went very well. The presentation was not me and was very boring. I opened up my PowerPoint the next day only to find it corrupted and I could not get the back up to work. Whether it was my negligence or spiritual attack, I don’t know, but the result was working hard again and fining a PowerPoint presentation that fit my personality more. Praise God for making something good come out of something that was a major source of stress and frustration.

I shared with two groups on Sunday morning and was not nervous at all. I need to tweak some things, but over all it went very well and I was so thankful to God for giving me the word and not get so lost in my passion that I could not convey the important things that need to be said.

This week is a tough one for me. I am trying to do things for Poland and work full time. This is going to have to change here very soon. Working for the family is very different than just working for a company. My folks are so good to me, in that they give me the time that I need to do the Poland stuff, and yet the pressures of a driving school and working with the public will not go away until I am completely gone. It is a tough balance, but with God’s help, I will be able to do it.

Along with this stress, my father had to go back to Washington DC to take care of his brother’s estate. My uncle’s death was unexpected and he had no will so the responsibility of settling the estate has fallen on my father. This has added to the company and family stress. But in this all God is good. We have jobs and a house and food. He is giving us blessings that we don’t even acknowledge sometimes.

I am sorry if this all sounds like I am complaining, I really don’t mean to. I am trying to get out some of these frustrations, as I am a verbal processor. If you think of it and could pray for me at this stressful time, I would appreciate it.

I spoke to one of my Polish friends yesterday via IM and am rejoicing at his report of taking eleven kids on an evangelistic snow camp. He was so excited since most of the kids are not believers. One of the other adults going is not a believer but is well on his way and I am praying that he finally allows God to “catch” him. I have know this young man for four years now though English camp and my heart has broken every year as I have witnessed his fear cloud out God’s calling to his heart. Reports are that now he is talking about turning his life over to Christ! I am hoping and praying that he will lay down those fears and then offer them to God and see how life can be more meaningful when following Christ! Maybe this is the year. . . .

Well, I will stop for now. I am going to experiencing my last even with my youth group here in Littleton at the end of the month at our winter retreat. I am looking forward to it and yet dreading it all at the same time because it will be my last time with the kids and I will be closing 13 years with this group and 5 years with the Jr. high group. Wow! I cannot believe I have been in ministry that long. It seems like I just started with how this new generation is . . . more on that later. ☺ The weekend will be hard I think, but my time is done here and I have to close that chapter in my life so that I can move on to my Poland chapter.

A New Year With a New Appreciation of God

Happy New Year! Another year has come and gone and this year will be one of great change for me. As I look at everything that will happen this year, I see all that will happen and everything that I need to do in order to be ready to move to Poland and know that I will be able to do it only with God’s help and strength.

I spent the week between Christmas and New Year's up in the beautiful Rocky Mountains near Rabbit Ears Pass with my brother and two dear friends. Our week was full of spending some time being together while snowmobiling, watching movies and playing X-Box (well my brother and Chuck played X-box). I am trying to "rev" my engines up for what will need to happen this next month and a half. I have a lot of support to raise and I am not quite sure how long it will take me to get to my goal. God knows and I trust in Him.

The week before Christmas, I had a conference call with my teammates in Poland and it made me “homesick” for them and for Poland. I want to be there NOW! I know that life in Poland will be difficult at times and I may even question if it is really worth the difficulties. I can do nothing but answer His call! As the apostle Paul says, “for me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” My life will be only half lived if I do not go where my heart and my God is leading me.

I have just finished reading A.W. Tozer’s The Knowledge of the Holy and was blown away by how I have become complacent in my attitude towards WHO God. I love the God I serve and yet I have allowed the culture of this country to dumb down the reality of His Holiness. I have seen God to be One who loves me and yet I must question if my love for him both respects and honors Him because He is God, period. My admission of this is humbling, but I hope that through it, I can see that the only think I can do is fall on my knees, lift my hands to heaven and cry, “Abba, Father!” I allow Him to be God, with no strings attached.

God is life’s greatest mystery that we humans try to explain away. Through our lack of wonder, we have taken the very God who created the earth and the universe and replaced Him with our intellect and science. There are two kinds of faith, Tozer says. The first is faith in the ever presence all perfect God who created everything. The second being faith in the creation of nature, which is FULL of mutations and mistakes. I ask, which one is worthy to put one’s faith in? There is no middle ground with this. One is faith in the perfect and one is faith in the fallible. I choose to put my faith in the ever perfect and present God.

So as I return to Denver, I look at my view of God and I look forward to changing it and deepening my understanding of the wonder and mystery of the Creator of the universe and man.

I had my first mission committee meeting tonight where I was able to update the church’s mission board on my journey to Poland. It went well and I look back and wonder why I was so nervous about speaking to them. God was there and as I drove to the location, God gave me a peace and gave me the words to share my passion for Poland. It was good and once again god was gracious and smiled upon me.


If you would like to help with supporting the mission to Poland, please contact me at thepolandpulse@gmail.com and I will get you the forms you will need for a tax deductible donation.